Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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