If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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