I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
