Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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