She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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