OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
