i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
