we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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