I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
