So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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