I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
