I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
