paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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