i just wanna soil my oats bro
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
