ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
