His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
