So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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