I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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