Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
