I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
