ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
