Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
