From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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