He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
