I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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