i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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