Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
