When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
