Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
