Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
