do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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