weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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