i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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