so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
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