apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
