what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
