The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Randomize
