census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
