Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
