So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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