If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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