got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
