Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
