I don't usually arrange sex via text message
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
