dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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