hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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