who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
