I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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