We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
