Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
