The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
