She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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