found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
