i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
