..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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