you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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