I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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