she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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