So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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