Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
