dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize