Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
