Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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