I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
